don’t worry, you will get out of ohio!! you should maybe try harder to get a job or two before college though because your resume is garbage and your degree will be worthless without grad school (which we still can’t afford yet, sry. maybe buy some lotto tickets?).
also you really shouldn’t save your aim chatlogs to the desktop. dad will find them and mistake your nerdy online roleplay for cybersex with old pedos and you’ll get grounded from the internet. it’s a bad time. don’t do it. on a related note, stop calling people long distance from the house phone geez.
there are so many of you! how can I possibly choose? I have probably already ranted at length about why you suck and I would just be repeating myself. + some of you honestly don’t even deserve personalized letters because you are just that terrible.
oh! wait. crap roomie. I suppose this dubious honor will go to you because you were home this morning and slammed EVERY DOOR, as usual. why do you do that? were you never taught to shut doors like a normal person? what is wrong with you? pls stay primarily at your gf’s place these last few weeks of living together or I may be tempted to do something awful.
I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box.
Dear person I hate, Dear person I like, Dear ex boyfriend, Dear ex girlfriend, Dear ex bestfriend, Dear bestfriend, Dear *anyone*, Dear Santa, Dear mom, Dear dad, Dear future me, Dear past me, Dear person I’m jealous of, Dear person I had a crush on, Dear girlfriend, Dear boyfriend, Dear [insert URL here],
I really liked “Freddy Got Fingered”, because it felt like a live action John Kricfalusi cartoon. “Ren & Stimpy” would take these really time-worn cartoon gags, and it would push them and push them and make them grosser and weirder and more extreme, and sometimes the results would be really funny or really upsetting or both at the same time. And sometimes the point of all the extremism would be about making the original reference look extra ridiculous or ugly just to mock it. Because “Freddy Got Fingered” is live action, everything grotesque about it automatically becomes 10 times more awful, but it winds up being funny because it’s taking all these gags that were already awful when other live action comedies did them and making them so ugly and awful that you’re half laughing at how bad they were in the first place.
If you’re at a pool, and there’s some kids running, and the life guard shouts “No running!” do you interject with “EXCUSE ME, NOT ALL OF US WERE RUNNING.”
If you’re in class, and a classmate is eating, and your professor addresses his students, “There’s no eating in the classroom,” do you scream out “EXCUSE ME, BUT WE’RE NOT ALL EATING.”
The lifeguard and your professor are well aware who is doing what. There is no reason for them to modify their sentences because they realize you’re aware of who is doing what, too. They have enough faith in your intelligence that if they say, no running, or, no eating, you will recognize that if you are not already doing these things, you are in the clear.
When someone begins a post, “why do men do x,” they are not saying that every single man in this world wakes up and makes it a point to do x for the day, every day of his life. Nobody ever, ever thinks that. They exist around men and observe men on a regular enough basis to know that obviously not all men do x.
No. They are saying that they have witnessed men doing x enough that they would like to point it out. They are saying that in the whole group of men, there are men who do x, and they think it’s worth noting.
So there’s no reason to go “NOT ALL MEN” because everyone already knows not all men, and that’s why nobody said “all men.” They just said men. If you’re not the man it applies to, move the fuck on, just like you’d keep walking at a swimming pool or keep not eating in class.
If the words “some men” are keeping you from recognizing a post with very valid points, you’re the problem.